Home Security

I just realized I live in a less well-traveled part of town.  The roads are narrow and winding.  The night sky is black, illuminated only by a multitude of stars when the clouds are away.  No streetlights here.  This also means that I and my roommates are prime targets for a break-in.  It’s time we talked about home security.

Fortunately for us, I’ve outlined a plan to keep ourselves and our possessions safe from burglars, degenerates, and unsavory mountain people.  First, each of us will immediately purchase and train with a jo staff.  As my friend and colleague from Relatively Journalizing points out, a jo staff is “a shorter version of a bo staff, used instead for its similarities to a sword and its excellent disarming capabilities.”  He should know: he once fought and defeated an army of ninjas using only a jo staff, but that’s another story for another time.  If it’s good enough for Josh, it’s good enough for me.

Second, I shall train an army.  An army of these:No potential burglar would ever dare attempt to set foot in my house with 50 or so of those bad boys on patrol.

(Pic is from CollegeHumor)