Reflections

I am a Virginia Tech alumnus, class of 2006. I will be pursuing my master’s degree at the same place beginning in August. The fall of 2002 to the spring of 2006 was the most exciting, new, fun, enjoyable times of my life. Roaring crowds at Lane and Cassell. Hokie House. Drunkopoly in Harper Hall. Hoping that my R.A. didn’t see the very visible Crown Royal bottle in my room (in hindsight, he probably wouldn’t have cared). Putting off writing that paper until the morning so I can win several games of beer pong against X. Making sure my drunken friend gets home, despite him hugging and talking to trees, urinating on parked vehicles, and introducing himself to every stranger on the street along the way. Lots of other fond memories too. Blacksburg is a very special place to me, and it is terrifying to see news of slaughter and murder at my school.

I was not in Blacksburg on Monday. I woke up to a phone call from Stephen, driving back to Blacksburg after being home all last week. He told me to turn on the news. At the time, MSNBC was saying eight people were believed dead or injured. I continued watching the news.

Eight dead. Twenty-one dead. Twenty-two. Thirty.

Every moment I spent watching television, every time the death toll rose, a terrible dread crawled in my heart. I checked away messages, Facebook and Myspace profiles, and attempted phone calls, trying to find out if my friends in Blacksburg were safe, as did everyone.

I called a friend I have known since freshman year, a grad student now. I leave a voicemail. Some time later, he called back. He’s alright, but I can hear the pain and uncertainty in his voice. Shaking, cracking, at times trembling. He is gripped by a horrible, suffocating fear, and it’s only after we end our conversation do I realize the enormity of the whole situation. It’s overwhelming.

All of my friends at Virginia Tech are safe, but they are not ok. This whole thing is too fresh in everyone’s head. The convocation today, people gathering in apartments and dorm rooms, it helps. But there is still a lot of healing that needs to happen, and it will take time.

I am by no means an expert at giving advice, certainly not in a situation as grave as this. Yet, to everyone there I know and to everyone there I don’t know, I must say something. Don’t be scared to find a shoulder to cry on in the coming days if you need to. Don’t merely remember those murdered; act to improve your community in a way they would have done so, had their lives not ended prematurely. Finally, don’t let your grief crush your hope. Life seems cruel and pointless at times like these. For a lot of you now, there’s a spirit-breaking, horrible fear in the back of your minds, gnawing at your soul. Don’t let that consume you. The sun rises tomorrow, and with it brings opportunities for you to do good, great things. Please take advantage of those.

To all my friends in Blacksburg, I’m glad you’re safe. If you need someone to talk to, get in touch with me.

GO HOKIES!