Grindhouse

I was able to obtain tickets to an advance screening of Grindhouse, the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino double feature coming out this Friday, I think.

My friend Reed and I navigate through Norfolk and Virginia Beach rush hour traffic to get to the theatre. The stocky, acne-faced movie clerk person (really, he was the stereotype of the movie theatre employee) says in an entirely humorless tone: “There are no video cameras or camera phones allowed in the movie, and they will be confiscated if you do. Do you have them?”

No, I replied. I hand my ticket to him. Reed deadpans, “we’re on a date, he’s taking me out tonight.” Pimple Boy keeps the same serious expression on his face and gives Reed the exact same spiel about cameras and camera phones.

Are there any phones on the market with enough memory to hold 200 minutes of video of any quality? Maybe if I brought 100 or so cell phones with me I could make a pirated copy of the movie. Or I could press record and hope I get the coolest 45 seconds. How much video can phones hold nowadays? I don’t know, but I’m fairly safe in assuming that it’s not over three hours.

The movies themselves were fun. Don’t look for any great universal insights about the human condition, but you knew that already if you were familiar with the directors. In fact, I hope you’re looking for gratuitous violence and lots of “holy shit!” moments. Lots of them.

Rodriguez’s film was first. Zombie movie. A throwback to B-movie films, with “unintentional” jump cuts and ‘reel missing’ messages. Rose McGowan’s machine gun-leg isn’t quite as cool as El Mariachi’s guitar case-gun, but still fun.

Tarantino’s was next, “Death Proof.” Kurt Russell is a damn evil villain. As always with his movies, the dialogue is entertaining, but the last car chase-revenge-beatdown is fucking insane.

I certainly recommend seeing it, and I will definitely see it again at my own convenience next time I’m in the mood for mindless fun movie-watching.

I have it in its entirety on my cell phone, if you’re interested.